This blog, on a regular basis, is a fairly serious and philosophical affair. My last blog, titled "My Greatest Fear", (which you can find here) was the deepest and most thought provoking I could muster. Even though I'm proud of what I wrote, it seemed a bit too morbid; so morbid in fact, that I decided to throw all those principles out the window tonight and write pure idiocy for once.
My friend (for the sake of the person's privacy I will be using a dummy name) John is utterly hilarious. Pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth makes me laugh my ass off.
Before I continue imploring you all on the funny shit that my friend John does, I'll give you guys a bit of background information on his appearance, his family, and how we met. John, for lack of a better term, is massive. He spends at least 20% of the week (the whole week not just the time he's awake) in the gym. He bench-presses well over 300lbs, but i'll stop with his weightlifting stats there seeing as it's undoubtedly more than what you do. Even though he may now be the strongest person at his High School, he wasn't always a massive football player. He moved here from another state in middle-school, as the skinny self proclaimed "World of Warcraft God".
He played this game a ton, but his brother... Holy Shit. His brother (we'll call him Fred), was notorious among my circle of friends as the most anti-social nerd alive. The nerdiness was insane. I cant even express it to you in a practical sense: It has to be in the form of a story. Fred, who somehow played more video-games than John did, avidly used the word "poopsock"
IF YOU ARE EATING SOMETHING, PUT IT DOWN, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET UGLY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
After hearing this word thrown around several times in their conversations, I got curious like any other person would, and asked what it's meaning was. That was easily one of the biggest mistakes I had made to that date.
Poopsock
~Verb
1. Used often as a last resort or act of desperation, a devout gamer will remove his sock and proceed to defecate into it in order to avoid the act of getting up and going to the bathroom.
~Noun
2. A sock filled with excrement
Variant Forms:
1. Poopsocked (~Adj.) - to be struck with a poopsock (often at high velocity) by means of another catapulting it through the air with their arm.
Now all of you may be thinking, theres no way in hell that he actually did this. To be honest, i'm not sure if he ever actually did the unspeakable and shit in a sock. I hope to god no, but I know for a fact that this practice is not as taboo for some of the lowest of anti-socials.
Now that you guys have a background of my friend John's appearance, personality, and family, I want you all to look closely at YOUR friends and appreciate how much better your life is because of them. When John isn't being a complete shit-head, he is a loyal and helpful friend; the kind of friend that would help you get through the rough times.
TO BE CONTINUED: Laugh a little bit: Part II
"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other [sic]" ~Alan Alda
For this blog's song I'm going to pick one of John's favorite songs:
Wow. That's pretty crazy, and I'll own...funny as well.
ReplyDeleteOn thing, though, don't tell people that your last blog post was the most thought provoking unless you're going to throw in, "for me to write." Because the readers get to decide how thought provoking something is. Once you've written it, it's out of your hands. (Don't think I'm saying it wasn't thought provoking; it was. I'm just saying, don't tell that. I'll read it on my own and decide.)
Poopsocks are disgusting.